Friday

If you want better sex you're gonna have to Work at it

The fact is, as they are reputed to say up north in the UK, "You don't get owt for nowt in this world" - and for those of you who are linguistically challenged, that simply means you don't get anything for nothing - and generally, they're right.

Certainly they're right when it comes to better sex.

For a start, it's mostly true that the fitter you are, the better the sex will be.
This doesn't mean that women have to be anorexic 18 year-olds, or that men need to look like Sylvester Stallone.
Nevertheless, if you're fit and supple, you'll not only be more likely to find that your lover is sexually attracted to you more readily and more often (or more men/women will fancy you if you don't already have a partner), but you'll find it a lot easier to be adventurous and get into different positions, have more stamina, and be able to keep up when the sex starts getting really athletic. Of course, it won't do your sex-life much good if you spend so much time and energy in the gym that you're too damned tired to screw your lover, but then everything in life should be in moderation, shouldn't it?

The same applies to all aspects of your sex-life and the longer you've been together, the harder it will probably be to get started and stay motivated. It's well worth the effort though.

Nobody should ever have to do anything sexual that they don't want to. That said, when things go stale, it might be time to re-think all your phobias about sex. So you don't like oral... Okay some people don't, but a hell of a lot do. In fact more men and women like it than don't, but they're not always with a partner who does. If you know that your partner likes oral, anal, mile-high, al fresco, S&M, even swinging, or group sex - when your sex-life together has become boring, maybe that's the time you should take a second look at what your partner likes and you've always dismissed without a second thought.

There are many ways to skin a cat (sorry animal lovers, that's just an expression). For instance, if your objection to oral is that it's unclean or unhygienic, then you really should re-examine your ideas. First of all, anyone who doesn't keep him or her self clean is not a very good or caring lover and should be told so and a good way to allay your fears on that score is to bath or shower together and wash each other - and that's pretty sexy on it's own! Unhygienic is crap! In a healthy individual, urine is sterile when it leaves the body, but attracts bacteria very rapidly afterwards, so washing thoroughly will sort the problem out. If you're a woman, perhaps you don't think you'll like the taste of your man's cum. Well, that's crap too, it doesn't have much taste on its own and is likely to be affected by recent pungent foods (such as garlic or curry) or drinking, but you don't have to get ANYTHING in your mouth anyway - you can buy FLAVOURED condoms almost anywhere these days - what does that tell you about how many people indulge in oral? Men tend to be less squeamish. If you're not - LEARN TO BE.

Much the same applies to anal, S&M, outdoor sex, group sex and all the rest. If, when you think about it calmly, your objections are largely born of ignorance of the subject, or you just don't like the thought of it, then, if it's something that will turn your partner on, you should consider giving it a try. You don't have to rush into it head on. To take the example of oral - give his or her bits a kiss or a lick - the first time you do even that, you'll be amazed at the result in your partner and you can build up to there. Alternatively, if your fear is of RECEIVING oral, don't be afraid to say, "Okay, I'll try, but I want to shower first," if you want to be sure you're really clean and, hopefully, that should get rid of some of your inhibitions at least.

Be brave and put EXCITEMENT and FUN back into your sex-life...


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