-Rasheed A. Gbadamosi
I turned 40 few months ago, and if statistics are right and I die on or around my 80th birthday, I am halfway done. So, for me, it's half time. And that got me thinking about football, particularly about the half time events in the locker room. The coach usually gathers all the players in the locker room for pep talk. Most of you can, probably, imagine that.
There are two primary things that happen at half time. One is to reflect on what went right and wrong in the first half, and the other is to decide how to proceed in the second half so you come out victorious.
With that in mind, here are some of my reflections on how I am going to play the second half of my life. Looking back at the major lesson life has taught me in the past 40 years, I would say you must have a blueprint for your life and work at it. You need the grace of God, support of your family, friends, mentors etc. You must have total confidence in yourself; you must invest in developing yourself intellectually, have many skills and develop multiple streams of income. That way you will not be found wanting and will also be on the cutting edge of life.
That, I will say, was the first half of my life.
For the second half of my life, having established direction, I intend to continue to stay disciplined in accomplishing my goals. That is a good thing.
Often coaches ask their players to be and stay disciplined and focussed in carrying out the game plan they have developed. So far, the game plan has worked well. Now I need to keep to the game plan and finish well in this second half.
In this second half, I intend to take more risks. Life rewards those who take risks. Don't misunderstand me, I don't mean being risky. Being risky in a game leads to getting your head handed to you by the opposing team, whilst taking well calculated risks lead to big gains.
Furthermore, I will be spending more quality time with my family because my children are getting older and I want to be there for them in their teenage years. I would also like to have some fun. Yes we want to win and stay disciplined, but what good is it if it isn't fun? Not much good at all. So I am going to make sure I am having fun along the way. I would like to take playing golf as a form of relaxation.
In addition, I want to write a best selling book that will inspire people to greatness and sell more than a million copies; be the founder/lead entrepreneur in a company that goes public, and have enough money to run the foundation I set up in 1997 - St. Florence Foundation, in honour of my mother. These goals motivate me to get up every morning to learn, lead, and work.
Finally, I want to build a legacy for this generation and the generation yet unborn. When I get to the end of my life, I would want to have inspired and empowered people to achieve their full potential in life. I want to know that I have done all that I could to make this world a better place, by enhancing the lives of those around me and helping thousands, if not millions, to achieve their full potentials in life. I want to know that I gave everything my best shot. I want it to be on record that I maximized my potential and stretched myself to the limit. I want my wife and children to remember me as a man who left a good legacy.
Those are the things I think about as I sit in my half time locker room of life. Maybe you are there as well. Maybe you are just hitting the first quarter break. Or, maybe you are in the final two minutes! No matter where you are, remember this week that life is short and we must remain diligent in designing and living our lives!
It is therefore imperative to recognise the time we are in at each stage of our lives. This will help us make the most of such times. As for me, it is just half-time and I have just started.
See you at the top!
If you cannot see your children during the week. Don't worry you are not alone.
A mother that gets goverment benefits will soon find out she is in the same situation as you are, or even worse, when her little son starts disrespecting any authority and ends up in trouble.
A young educated man looking for a job will always be the last to get it cause minorities and women will always come first.
Has today's world become owerpotective and it backfired on all of us?
A costumer called me from Santa Barbara, California and he talked about his college where many females are ashamed to call themselves a female cause the root of the word is male So they use some different kind of spelling which I couldn't hear cause he laughed so hard. But it is not funny at all, it is very sad.
If you just imagine all the policemen, fireman, workers and the most dangerous profession of all soldiers sacrifising themselves ewery hour just to benefit everybody and to make us all live in a safer world you cannot understand where does the hate come from.
It is so omnipresent that it is difficult to see, but the whole western world has become a man hating place and the rest of the world will soon be there also.
Lets analyze: why it happened?
In the past, as long as humans exsisted, women have spent considerable amount of money on making themselves beautiful and have bought designer clothes which, basically, cost a fortune.
Men were huge, unexplored market, escpecially in the 80's when most of young men were bodybuilding in gyms and following their role models of that time:Schwarzenegger and Stallone.
However those men were good enough for the sports industry, actually perfect, but fashinon industry had big looses cause ewery macho man would rather buy a cigar than go to a fancy hair specialist.
So they choose to make new role models for the young men to follow. The new role model spends on his looks the same, or ewen more than the women. In many countries, like Japan, males have lost courage to ewen approach women and they stay at home living with their parents and spendig all their surplus money on fashionable accessories.
That kind of behaviour may not be good for them, but it is definitely good for all the new industires that came in a spree.
If you go out to clubs today you will not see anybody approaching women (if he is sober) and you will see people just checking each other out and doing nothing. Fathers tell to their sons that it was not like that back in the good old days, who knows, all fathers like to exaggerate but it is clear that something is not right today cause men have become less of a man and now they are called metrosexuals.
When Bill Clinton, by many the best president in history, cheats on his wife he is questioned in front of the whole world. Twenty years ago, while cold war was still present everywhere the media favoured strong, playboy men and now the dice has changed and is in another extreme.
In my line of work, I often get asked by people what my most frequently asked question is.
This is easy -- it is by far "How do I solve my premature ejaculation problems?" This week, we will look at ways to cure this problem that plagues many men.
According to University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, lead author of a comprehensive new US sex study, 31% of men and 43% of women suffer from some form of sexual dysfunction.
The study, published last year in the Journal of the American Medical Association, was based on data from the 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey, a collection of interviews with 1,749 women and 1,410 men aged 18 to 59.
One-third of men said they had recurring problems with climaxing too early, 14 percent said they had no interest in sex and 8 percent said they regularly experienced no pleasure from sex.
Women, on the other hand, were a different story. A third said they regularly didn't want sex, 26 percent said they regularly didn't reach orgasm and 23 percent said sex was not pleasurable.
In both sexes, these problems were attributed to emotional and stress problems including poor health, poor quality of life and prior traumatic sexual experiences.
Although premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction, it is very difficult for men to discuss. A man who can't get it up or keep it up, understandably feels like less of a man. However, it should not be this way. If more men were willing to talk about their problem, it would be easier to accept, knowing that they are not alone.
Often, men are not sure what is considered premature ejaculation. The average male takes less than 3 minutes from the time of insertion till he ejaculates.
According to the technical definition, it is ejaculation that occurs prior to when a man wishes, or too quickly during intercourse to satisfy the partner. This usually leads to the loss of a usable erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily released a state of elevated sexual tension.
Although the complaint is usually stated in terms of time, this is because it is the only way to measure and compare. The issue, however, is really about control of the ejaculatory process and releasing when you feel ready. Men are usually more upset about the lack of a vote or influence over when they ejaculate.
One man might feel proud to last ten minutes, while this may be too short for another. Like the saying goes, one man's trash is another man's treasure.
From the point of view of reproduction, early release is not a major problem. Lasting longer in bed serves no known genetic function. It is something that we must learn to do, as opposed to being innate.
First, one must understand what is happening to his body when he ejaculates. Orgasm consists of two stages. The first begins with the prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above the base of the penis. This contracts and releases its fluids, along with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra.
The second phase occurs when the pelvic muscle contracts strongly around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure. Men should be aware that it is possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm and vice versa.
The good news is that this is a problem that is highly curable, providing the man is willing to get help and invest the time and effort needed. It is believed that 80-90% of men are able to learn better control through therapy.
The first step to lasting longer is to become familiar with one's self. Be comfortable with your body, its sensations and the feelings leading up to orgasm. You should learn and be able to predict when the orgasm will occur. This will prevent it from creeping up on you and taking you by surprise. This will also help you do what is necessary to prevent you from reaching that "point of no return." Next >>
The "stop and start" method involves bringing yourself just before the point of no return, and stopping all movement before it is too late. When the urgency to ejaculate subsides, start thrusting again, and repeat several times.
This can also be practiced using your partner's hand, mouth or even by yourself. It may require some trial and error, as you may pass that point accidentally.
breathe in, breathe out
Many people are not aware of it, but proper breathing can help develop ejaculatory control. This is because taking a few deep breaths can help you relax and calm the arousal and tension that leads to quick ejaculations. Practice deep, easy, relaxed breathing and relax your entire body.
Communication is another key to long-lasting sex. Let your partner know when you are getting close and what you can and cannot handle. This will involve the use of actual words, since non-verbal cues are easily misunderstood. "Stop," "Hold it," "Start," and "More," are obvious choices and anything else that's short and clear, is acceptable.
Other causes of premature ejaculation are anxiety, fear or discomfort with your partner. Premature ejaculation is less likely to occur if the couple knows each other well; feels comfortable with one another; both partners are consenting; in a comfortable, relaxed and private setting; and after contraception issues have been discussed.
Many men can also last longer the second time around, so perhaps this can be incorporated into your love-making. If round one is short, please her with some extended foreplay using your mouth, or with an erotic massage during half-time until your soldier is ready for battle once again.
Desensitizing creams lessen the sensations felt by men during intercourse so that they can last longer. The problem that many men feel is that these creams make intercourse less pleasurable due to the decreased stimulation.
Condoms reduce the amount of stimulation experienced during sex. Many men find that a condom makes them last longer because of the decreased stimulation. As you all know, condoms provide the best protection against STDs and pregnancy, so they have added benefits.
The position of lovemaking may also affect a man's ability to last in bed. The 'missionary' position, with the man on top, is not the best position while attempting to control ejaculation. All men, however, are different and some men find it harder to hold themselves when their partner is in control.
Experiment and vary the positions according to what allows you to control yourself better.
pump it up!
Finally, strong, well developed pelvic muscles will allow you better control and make you more aware of what is happening in your nether regions. Pelvic floor muscles are the ones used to stop and start urination. Hold the muscles for three seconds, relax for three seconds, and repeat ten times.
You can do this at anytime and in anyplace. Eventually, you should be able to work your way up to 100 ten-second contractions per day.
Premature ejaculation can be easily countered with patience, effort and knowledge. Informing yourself is the first step, and once you know about the problem, you are halfway there. Overcoming the mental and physical aspects of this problems are also much easier if both partners are involved, aware of the situation and open to discuss it.
Once again, communication will be your strongest asset. Good luck to you all.
-By D.Zimmer - Sex Book Guide & CD
One thing we all want to conquer is frizz and fly aways. One thing I'd like to stay away from is the standard pony tail.
I need a cool hair style on these hot summer days.
According to hair's most fashionable website, Focus on Style, there are some new looks this summer. Yet, some of the traditional summer dos are hanging on, as well.
Braids are among the popular styles seen on the runways. Among them are the Goddess Braid and the Braided Updo. To be honest, the Braided Updo is reminiscent of Star War's Princes Leigha. There is a big difference, however. The braids are not wound up tight close to the head like Princess Leigha's cinnamon bun braids. They are brought up into the back and sides of the hair hanging more loosely. Braided Updos featured in Focus on Style emphasize a draping effect. They sweep around the back of the hairline and keep long, hot hair off of your neck.
The Goddess Braid is a large braid that runs across the front of the hairline. According to Focus on Style, the braid may then run behind the ears, or even farther back around the head. It may be composed of one long braid, or several small ones. Its effect is that of a braided crown, thus the name Goddess Braid. In addition to looking sleek, stylish, and sexy, the Goddess Braid keeps pesky hair out of your eyes in the summer time. Braided hair gives you more freedom and fewer frizzes to worry about during the summer.
Traditional pulled back hairstyles are also fashionable for the summer. Sleek, smooth lines look fashion forward with a sexy summer dress. I've always viewed sleek, taut hair as a sign of confidence. A beautiful woman is not afraid to show off her face by pulling back the hair. All of the drama is then left to her natural features and a little make-up.
What Focus on Style calls "the girl next door" look is the means by which school girls have pulled up errant pieces of hair, and kept them out of their faces for years. There are half pulled back, usually with hair pins. This is a popular style among some celebrities this season, according to celebrity trend on-line magazine nzgirl . There were also traditional ponies, pulled back gently with wisps of hair accenting the face.
Many of the styles in Focus on Style featured clipped or pinned hair with fullness and waves. Any variation on this theme creates a glamorous look for summertime. This is a perfect hair style to wear out to dinner, in your black party dress, or out with the girls at the local club.
You may be one of the lucky women who has been blessed with a perfectly pouty and full smile, but if you're reading this article you are probably seeking to enlarge, enhance, or otherwise increase the volume and fullness of your lips. But who really has the money or inclination to go have a costly, and many times painful, procedure performed which may not even produce permanent results? Not to mention, most of these procedures are, in fact, not permanent, and do require recurring visits every six months.
This can really add up, and the results may not even be as natural as you desire. So the question is, if you want fuller, larger, sexier lips, what are your nonsurgical choices, if any that are safe AND effective?
It seems like every day a new cosmetics company is popping up on the internet claiming to have the one lip enlargement product that really works. How are you to tell which of these lip enhancement products really lives up to it's claims? We all know that most of them probably are just a waste of good money. Most lip enlargement creams, gels and glosses work by actually irritating the outer layer of cells, causing it to swell slightly and turn a deeper color. Other lip enhancers use light reflection through high shine or gloss to trick the eye and make the lips appear fuller. Most of these do not result in any truly noticeable difference to the naked eye, and do not last more than one hour.
There are a few products that have been shown to help increase moisture and volume over time with repeated use. Do not expect a dramatic increase by the use of these products alone though. The best, most dramatic natural lip enlargement can be achieved through combining the use a quality topical lip product along with a lip enlargement pump. A lip enlargement pump is a small hand-held device that gently suctions the lips outward, pulling fliud in to the lips and creating a dramatically fuller set of lips for a few hours at a time. They are inexpensive, and you only need to buy it once and you're done. I do however recommend you purchase a few so you have one for home and one for on the road. The best part about this device is that, over time and with regular use, you will notice your lip size really has increased, even after the initial effect of lip "plumping" has worn off.
One word of caution though, if the pump is used for too long with each individual treatment, or the suction is too vigorous and severe, it will cause your lips to bruise. So start slow, and be sure you are not in discomfort as this is a sign the lips may bruise. Be cautious and mindful of this, and stick to the recommended treatment times. If the suction is too much, reduce the pressure by releasing the nozzle until it is a comfortable "tugging" sensation. This device is truly a great way to achieve a dramatic increase in lip size, and is a great "special occasion" beauty tool. It is a Hollywood standby for photo shoots and a favorite trick of models and actresses to get the lips extra plump and full.
Another tip for maintaining moisture and fullness of the lips, besides using a good lip enhancer and a lip pump (if so desired for dramatic effects), is to keep you body hydrated. Be sure to drink plenty of water at all times, and be sure to apply your lip product whenever it wears off. Keeping the lips hydrated is part of the trick to keeping them as full and flushed as possible, so they stand out, instead of blending in with the rest of your face. Avoid dehydrating ingredients such as mint and camphor.
Here's an interesting fact: Did you know that your lips actually get fuller during the times of your monthly cycle when estrogen levels are elevated? You may have thought you were imagining that your lips are fuller during certain times of the month - but you weren't!
So, now you know that you really can achieve fuller lips without the surgery and injections. As long as you are dilligent in administering the treatments as recommended, and choose the best products, you are on your way to a perfectly full, soft set of lips!