Monday

What not to do when kissing

When it comes to sex and love, there’s no such thing as too much knowledge. No matter how much experience one has, there are always some things that were missed, some bits of information that did not reach him or her. And since most people have other things to do with their lives than striving to become a sort of walking sex and love encyclopedias, it follows that everybody needs tips now and then.

Among the physical expressions of love, kisses are very versatile tools in the emotional kit of any human being. From the short and tender kiss of a grandmother, to heads of state briefly touching their lips to each other’s cheeks and on to passionate lovers French kissing their way to a hot session of sex, it’s obvious that our lips can express many things.

And since the best kisses are those that come out right, some tips are in order for the use of people who either don’t get much practice or are not catching up fast on what they should do. Don’t laugh! Nobody was born knowing how to do this or that thing. We all have to learn.

While we can all be thankful to the French for opening the door to the intimate play of tongues (although it’s not clear whether the French kiss comes from Paris or not), kissing is actually a universal language that can be learnt by all people. Traditionally, French kissing has been associated with the Western world, from which it’s now spreading around the globe.

When preparing to go for the kiss, take your time for a reality check. Is the girl willing to go along with this or not? If you’re about to make your approach and the girl gets an embarrassed look on her face and starts fidgeting in her chair in what may be seen as an evasive maneuver, then pull back and give her some breathing space. Don’t rush things because you’re going to regret it.

First thing you need to know is that French kisses are not meant for the first date, unless, of course, the girl is quite the party animal and you both know that your date has only one purpose. In that case, anything goes if you can get away with it; even sex in the restaurant’s lavatory. Or if the girl is so clearly willing that there can be no mistake about it. But in all other cases, save French kissing either for the end of the date or for another date.

Two things that girls hate is to have guys shoving their tongues down their throats and to have their oxygen supply cut off during kissing. Therefore, you need to take care that you leave the girl enough room to breathe or to break the kiss every now and then. This will also help you, because you also need the oxygen. Two people kissing are sharing an intimate moment, not engaging in an endurance test or in a race to the death.

When actually going for the kiss, don’t charge with your tongue sticking out or your mouth. This can gross out even the hardcore promiscuous people. Put your lips against hers and only then let your tongue come out to play. And don’t stab her mouth with your tongue. Keep your cool and read her emotions. If she wants more passion or a little rough play, then go ahead and do what you think best. If not, then keep your tongue to yourself.

On the other hand, if both you and your partner find yourselves exhausted by a prolonged session of passionate kissing, then you are on the right path. It means that she enjoys your kisses and that she probably doesn’t mind going even further. Just remember to refrain from rushing things. The slow path is sometimes best.

Thursday

Orgasms - A Real ‘Turn Off’ for Women

Having an orgasm is such a wonderful feeling, or that’s what women say. No one’s really been able to explain the experience very well, but a bunch of scientists recently studied the phenomenon of orgasms in detail and have figured out one important fact. That women do get ‘turned off’ by sex and orgasms!

Orgasms - A Real 'Turn Off' for WomenSurprisingly, at the moment of orgasm, women do not have any feelings! At the study that was conducted by a few scientists, using a brain scan, many areas of the brain get switched off during an orgasm. And the area that gets switched off include the regions of the brain where we feel pain or emotion! There is literally no emotional feeling for women when they reach for the skies, and it doesn’t matter who’s around. Everything goes into a haze, and the urge to orgasm overrides everything else. It’s no wonder many couples who make out in public don’t really mind being seen if they’re already in the middle of the act, adds the study.

Another aspect that was verified is the universally acknowledged myth, that women cannot enjoy sex unless they are relaxed and free from worries and distractions. Fear and anxiety levels drive down the chances to orgasm while having an intimate moment for women. It’s no wonder, women worry so much about their appearance and feel quite unsexy at times. And unknown to them, it’s their feeling of ‘unsexyness’ that results in bad sex.

Back to Evolution

It all comes back to this, all the time. Again, the reason why women shut down their brain and lose their emotions completely when they have sex is due to human evolution. Evolution has altered us in such a way that women ‘turn off’ their brain while having sex because at such times the chance to produce off spring becomes more important than the survival risk to the individual. This behavior is also seen in several animals, where the urge to mate makes them overlook all fear of predators and other dangers, and focus primarily on mating! The only part of the brain that still functions is the cerebellum, which is said to be associated with movement and coordination of the body.

The Man’s Side

Well, men have never known how to shut out things in their head, and even while having sex, men seem to feel nothing that is felt by women. The brain may be deactivated in a few small regions, but almost all other functions work in order. No wonder men are able to speak easily while having sex, while women find it easier to moan rather than speak, which is pretty much because the part of the brain that coordinates speech too, is shut off while orgasming!