He’s always there for you when you’re feeling low, he’s the one who drops you home when you and your pals go partying and he’s ready to be your back-up plan for the weekend when your date cancels.
So, don’t you think your friend needs to be promoted to the friends-with-benefits category? If you think he has the potential, here’s how you can initiate sex:
Gauge the situation
You don’t want to be turned down and make the situation awkward for both of you. So, think this through before you give him those signals. If he’s got a girlfriend or you know he’s not the type to engage in casual flings, respect him for his integrity and don’t make a move unless you really have strong feelings for him.
Get him drunk
If you think he’s game for it, then what better way to get rid of his inhibitions than getting him wasted! Take him out and show him a good time. Say drinks are on you and soon he’ll soon be staggering into your arms.
Send him a corny message
When he’s a good enough friend, you can get away with anything, even the ‘No one really understands me except you’ rubbish. Those little I’m-thinking-about-you texts will subtly let him know that you’re an available option.
Plan a weekend date at home
But don’t let him know it’s a date! As he makes himself comfortable on your couch, inform him that a girlfriend who was supposed to join you has cancelled at the last moment. So it’ll only be you, him and the very, very scary movie. Add a blanket for comfort and things are bound to get hot and heavy!
Make your intentions clear
Lay your cards on the table as soon as you know you’re heading to the bedroom with him. If this is a one-off encounter for you, make sure his intentions are not nobler. You don’t want to break his heart if he’s dreaming of walking down the aisle with you.
Even if all the rules are laid down and he is up for sex, tread with care. With sex come plenty of repercussions - you don’t want to ruin a good friendship.
While others have been planning a turkey supper, we’ve been planning a sexy feast, gathering dozens of real women at our table to tell us what they love most about getting down to business with you. Sure, it’s not polite Thanksgiving dinner conversation, but it beats listening to Grandpa rant about the price of milk.
The best part is, we’re going to tell you how to take everything these appreciative ladies say and put it to good use in bed. You can thank us later.
On this time-honored American holiday, many women are raising a glass to the sexy traditions they’ve started in the sack. For example, each week 31-year-old Trish* and her fiancé celebrate “Screwsday,” in which they try a new sex move every Tuesday. “We started doing it because we were in a rut and wanted to bone outside our comfort zone,” she says. “We’ve discovered things we didn’t think we’d like, such as adding restraints. Of course, there are also totally awkward things I learned that I don’t enjoy—like seeing him in a priest frock for role play. But overall I really look forward to our weekly experiment.”
Rachel, 26, and her boyfriend like to observe real holidays with kinky customs. On Bastille Day she dressed up like a French maid and made l’amour while spouting dirty French phrases. On Columbus Day they borrowed his father’s sailboat and did it at sea. “When you turn holidays into sexy occasions, you want to celebrate all of them—even the silly ones,” she says. “My friends never understand why I get so excited for Arbor Day.”
Show your gratitude: Create a sexy ritual with your lady that forces you to switch up your sexual routine. (Yes, Threesome Thursdays would be great, but try to make it about just the two of you.) If you work near each other, how about a designated day for lunchtime quickies? Is she artsy-fartsy? Suggest a regular body-painting session. Whatever you do, don’t do it too often or for too long—the last thing she wants is a sexual tradition that feels as surprising and arousing as laundry night.
While there’s no substitute for a man, several women expressed gratitude for the technological advancements that fill in when no guy is around. “I couldn’t live without my vibrators,” says 32-year-old Melissa, who bought her first vibe 10 years ago and has since amassed a collection of eight.
“They all have varied speed settings, and one has a couple of fun add-ons for extra stimulation.
I definitely like to use them with guys, too—the combined effect brings my orgasms to a whole new level.”
Other gals pay homage to the technology not in their nightstand drawer but online. “Skype has saved my relationship by allowing me to have long-distance sex with my boyfriend, who’s working in London for a year,” says Annie, 27. “It’s not only a million times cheaper than long-distance phone sex; it’s hotter because there’s a visual. The first time we did it, I was able to give him a real striptease instead of lying there in my pj’s pretending to be naked.”
Show your gratitude: Surprise her with a gizmo that will amplify your talents with a supersexy buzz. (Jimmyjane sells a range of models, from a simple $16 bullet to a $35 vibrating ring to the double-headed Form 2, $135, which won an award at this year’s AVNs.) If you’re feeling extra bold, ask her to use it while you watch on Skype. As you’re probably aware, you don’t need to be long-distance to watch a lady pleasure herself online.
The Best Parts
Not surprisingly, many women boiled down their love of sex to a love of self—specifically, their lovely lady lumps. After all, what’s not to like? “My boobs are super sensitive, so I love having them fondled and sucked,” says 29-year-old Julia of her natural C cups. “When my boyfriend squeezes my nipples while he’s going down on me, I’m in total ecstasy.” Meanwhile, Megan, a 31-year-old Pilates devotee, loves the firm yet round behind her exercise routine has created. “I'm always dying for a guy to grab my ass during sex,” she says. “Smack it, spank it—enjoy it. That’s why I’m in the gym five days a week!”
When it comes to the male anatomy, women are ever grateful for your equipment (“I could play with my boyfriend’s dick all day,” says Tami, 20). But there are even more utilitarian muscles that turn us on, too. “I love my guy’s arms,” says 25-year-old Krista. “Not because I’m into beefy dudes but because he’s so strong. My favorite thing is when he picks me up while we’re doing it and then stands up.” And for Ellie, 23, there’s nothing better than when her boyfriend gives her the finger. “His digits can bend to touch super-sensitive areas like my G-spot,” she says. “It makes me feel like he’s really exploring my body.”
Show your gratitude: It’s all about the F-word—that is, foreplay. Devote one night a week to a different part of your girlfriend’s body and ask her to do the same for you. (There must be something other than your member that craves her attention.) Linger there for 20 to 30 minutes, taking periodic detours to other sensitive bits so that no area goes untouched. When you both can’t take it anymore, move on to the other F-word.
Many women we spoke with were thankful not just for our bodies but for everything they can do—like the reverse pile driver! But even the most devoted yogis in the group confessed that sometimes classic sex positions are the most erotic. “Missionary is the best,” says Janelle, 22. “It lets my clit and my vagina get the most simultaneous action—which is pretty much the only way
I can orgasm during sex. Plus, it kind of takes me back to losing my virginity.”
Still others traveled back even farther in time when asked about their favorite sexual escapades. “My boyfriend and I have make-out-only nights where we just roll around and rub against each other, never taking off our undies,” says Mary, 33. “I don’t know what position you’d call it—dry humping?—but it’s totally reminiscent of junior high and gets us supercharged for the next time, when we actually go ‘all the way.’ ”
But by far the sex act that received the most praise was oral. “I’m hugely thankful for any man who loves going down,” says 25-year-old Collette. “Nothing makes me feel sexier or
come faster. I also love 69-ing—turns me into a porn star.”
Show your gratitude: Pick up a translated Kama Sutra (see: The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to the Kama Sutra)—the ancient Sanskrit screed that everyone thinks is about crazy pretzel-twisty versions of exotic and alien sex acts. While the guide does contain some wacky suggestions, it mostly focuses on maximizing the mind-blowing potential of positions you already know(missionary, woman on top). Bypass the spiritual hooey and take away the key info: where to put your bodies so you both get the most explosive O’s. Then settle in for a long holiday nap; this stuff is even better than tryptophan.