10 Tips Good Pillow Girls Can Learn from Porn Stars

Whether you hate that your guy watches porn or opt to watch it with him, you always wonder about one thing: the mystique of the porn star. She's everything a good girl doesn't want to be — except in the bedroom.

Wish you could mesmerize your man like his favorite video vixen? Brenda Della Casa, author of Cinderella Was a Liar, has compiled a cheat sheet of porn babes' best-kept secrets.

Once you know what they know, you can try the tricks at home — no overprocessed hair or camcorder required. Your man will be putty in your hands, but the biggest payoff? You will end up more satisfied in the process!

1. Show a Little Enthusiasm!

Good Girl Approach: Many of us have been taught that sex is not a high priority, so when your guy wants to do the horizontal tango, you make excuses or treat it like another chore on your to-do list.

Porn Babe Secret: They enjoy what feels good without reservation — and they show their partners how excited they are by engaging them with their speech and movements. They understand that diving into the sack with someone who isn't into it is like sharing a "romantic" meal with someone who's watching television.

Tantalizing Tip: Take the initiative! Wake him up with a below-the-belt kiss. Send him a naughty text message midway through the day. In bed, get into the moment by looking into his eyes and telling him how eager you are to be with him.

2. Speak Up!

Good Girl Approach: Your sack sessions hardly leave you invigorated, but you're scared that any attempt to spice things up will make you seem like a tramp.

Porn Babe Secret: Toss the dated worries — liking sex doesn't make you a hussy; it makes you human. Tell him how much you enjoy it when he kisses that special spot, or mention something you're craving in the heat of the moment! Just asking for something new can be a huge turn-on for both partners.

Tantalizing Tip: Pop open a bottle of wine and initiate a little game of truth-or-dare. Or surprise him with a spicy flick and point out the scenes you'd be open to trying. There's a good chance he'd like to experiment, too, but is keeping it to himself because he doesn't want to offend you.

3. Know Thyself!

Good Girl Approach: You find masturbation embarrassing or shameful, so you rarely try it (and never admit to it when you do).

Porn Babe Secret: Make like a seasoned porn babe and figure out what works for you by caressing your thighs, breasts and everything in between. Not knowing what feels good is like taking a cross-country road trip without a map!

Tantalizing Tip: If you're like many gals and the manual approach leaves you feeling less than thrilled, simply find something else to tickle your fancy. After a few solo sessions bring your man into the action for a steamy one-on-one lesson.

4. Love Those Thighs!

Good Girl Approach: You hate your hips, your backside is less than baby-smooth, blah, blah, blah.

Porn Babe Secret: They know that men love sex — he's absolutely thrilled when your thighs are wrapped around him, dimples and all. He would never forgo what feels good to accommodate something as silly as a body insecurity or two.

Tantalizing Tip: Illuminate the bedroom, living room or even kitchen with candles, which give a soft glow that glides over perceived imperfections. Give him the visualization he craves and get off (pun intended) on the fact that you are the reason for every moan and squirm your man makes!

5. Get a New Bedtime Script!

Good Girl Approach: Your pillow talk doesn't get much racier than a few "oh, baby's" tossed in with a few "you feel so good's."

Porn Babe Secret: Men are competitive by nature, and they love to know they are the best at whatever it is they're doing, including you. Porn babes know that just hearing a female verbally tap into the action is enough to make him explode.

Tantalizing Tip: Get comfy with the saucy talk by writing down some sexy thoughts and reading them out loud alone a few times. In bed, start small by giving him a play-by-play of the action, telling him what he's doing to you or asking questions such as, "Do you like it when I [insert verb here] you?"

6. Get a Little Uncomfortable!

Good Girl Approach: Your weekend look of sweats and ponytails has become as fun as your weekly date with the treadmill. Sound exciting? Yeah, we didn't think so.

Porn Babe Secret: Men are visual creatures (that's why porn babes are in business!). These gals work this to their advantage and don sexy lingerie and even (gulp!) keep their heels on during the deed, all to enhance the experience.

Tantalizing Tip: Slip on a thong underneath your yoga pants, or meet him at home in nothing but heels and a great hairdo. Surprising him with something new will show him that he's worth the effort, which will spark his heart as well as his, um, interest.

7. Get Creative with the Merchandise!

Good Girl Approach: You have an idea of what works for your guy, which is why you do it again and again and…

Porn Babe Secret: They know their partner has dozens of hot buttons — from his toes to the back of his neck — and that half the fun is finding out what works and what doesn't.

Tantalizing Tip: Gently pinch or bite his ******s or kiss his chest and stroke his stomach gently with your nails. When you go below-the-belt, pay attention to all parts of the package by gently tracing his scrotum with your tongue or pressing on his perineum (the area between his penis and his anus).

8. Be a Little Selfish!

Good Girl Approach: You're tired and overworked, and you haven't been to the gym in ages. You'd love to get your hair done and take that Spinning class, but you promised you'd run errands for your sister (again).

Porn Babe Secret: While good girls are taught to deprive themselves, porn babes make self-maintenance a high priority.

Tantalizing Tip: Whether it's a manicure, a blowout or just slathering on a luxurious cream before bed, do something that makes you feel and look good more than once a month. Feeling like you're worth the splurge will not only boost your confidence, it will make you glow — and that's hotter than any bustier on the market.

9. Come On, Gals, Fantasize!

Good Girl Approach: You'd never admit to daydreaming about being intimate with two men or kissing another woman, even if you do — and the thought of your man having a sex dream about Heidi Klum in bed is enough to bring you to tears.

Porn Babe Secret: They do things most of us wouldn't, but the lesson is in their approach, not in their actions. They don't judge the desires of their partners or take offense at what turns them on. Just because your guy fantasizes about a threesome doesn't mean he doesn't love you or even that he would want to participate in one in real life. As long as the boundaries of your relationship are maintained, fantasizing is healthy aspect of sexuality.

Tantalizing Tip: Try verbal exploration! Talk him through a threesome or ask him to pretend he's a stranger. Sharing these kinds of experiences will not only spark amazing sex, but they will also build trust and intimacy, which is always sexy. Discuss boundaries beforehand (some couples have a code word to signal the other to stop when acting out scenarios), and remember, comfort is key, so don't participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Stop Doing Favors!

Good Girl Approach: You perform oral sex as a "gift" for whatever special day, or tell him that if he's good, you'll let him try a new position.

Porn Babe Secret: Sexual desire is not a male-specific attribute, nor is it something that should be rationed. In fact, it's practically as essential to a full life as food, water and shelter. Porn babes do things they know their partner will enjoy, while asking for what they want in return.

Tantalizing Tip: No one wants to feel like they are being manipulated or treated like a charity case, so keep the bureaucracy out of the bedroom. Find out what your partner likes, and as long as you are comfortable with it, give it to him generously. The only "requirement" you should have is that he reciprocate on the same level. His taking out the trash isn't a reason to give him a blow job — your turning him on is.

12 Secrets to Better Orgasms

1. Hit the hot spots.

A friction position may help you have an orgasm during intercourse. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Or lay on your back with a pillow underneath your butt. You may even want to try using a vibrator during intercourse, says Laura Berman, PhD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and OB-GYN at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She recommends the Athena ($11.95) the Aurora ($46.95).

2. Talk the talk.
“Men really want direction,” Berman says. Let your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what feels great or by moaning.

3. Learn on your own.
You can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you on. “To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate,” says Danielle Cavallucci, a sex coach with sex information company Sexuality Source.

4. Exercise your orgasm muscles.
“Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones,” sex educator Dorian Solot says. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Then tone them by clenching when you’re not peeing. Do Kegels every day, ideally a few times a day. And keep breathing while you squeeze.

5. Get risky.
Research shows that engaging in thrill-seeking behaviors together (whether it’s rock climbing or just going to see a scary movie) stimulates dopamine in the brain, which gets your juices flowing.

6. Delay the pleasure.
“The longer the arousal buildup, the bigger the explosion,” Solot says. Get yourself close to orgasm, then slow to a simmer. Repeat that a few times before you climax.

7. Focus on breathing.
Tantric sex may sound new-agey, but its central tenet—focused breathing—may boost your pleasure. “You can use your breath to channel your sexual energy,” sex educator Yvonne Fulbright says. Partners who breathe in tandem may slow the rush to orgasm and create a bigger buildup, which can intensify pleasure.

8. Explore erotica.
Porn isn’t all about big penises and deep throats. Erotic movies and books can be tasteful and arousing, and the more aroused you are, the better your orgasm chances. Berman and Fulbright suggest the Candida Royale films ($9.95 and up); the sex scenes are steamy, and there’s a plot. Berman also recommends literature like the Herotica series, in which women are the lead characters.

9. Try creative foreplay.
If it takes you longer than your partner to warm up, Fulbright says, get a head start by e-mailing or texting each other sexy messages (but don’t get too graphic—e-mail is not necessarily private).

10. Check your meds.
Women are more likely than men to take anti-depressants, which are known to hurt a person’s sex life. If you’re having trouble, talk to your doctor about your meds.

11. Get help early.
If you’re not orgasmic, advice from a pro may be helpful. Nerve damage or low testosterone could be the problem. “Your doctor can do a medical evaluation,” Berman says, “or look at relationship factors.” To find a sex therapist, check with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

12. Relax.
In a recent French study of 500-plus women, more than 70 percent said work stress compromised their sex drive. A low libido, obviously, lowers chances of orgasm. So ditch life’s distractions at your bedroom door.

courtesy Kara Jesella

How To Touch a Woman to Drive Her Wild (Sexuality Tips for Men)

Obviously, everything about great sex involves touching. Really mastering the subtleties of touching is one of the best ways to really explode a woman's ideas of just how amazing sex can be. The thing that I really love about the "idea" of touching a girl, is that the sensation travels in both directions. She gets the pleasure of feeling your hands on her skin, and you get the pleasure of feeling her skin with your hands. And when you are both really in tune with that exchange of pleasure, it can be absolutely awesome.

So what is the best way to touch a woman?

It depends on the woman. I'm going to explain EXACTLY what you need to know to figure it out for your woman.

There are a few important keys to touching that can let her know, INSTANTLY that you know exactly what you are doing-- and get her powerfully aroused.

The first thing you should know, if you don't already, is that women LOVE to be touched. Touch is very important to all humans, but it is, generally, much more important to women, and they respond very strongly to touch. It is a powerful reward to a woman when you touch her, and it can instantly make her feel great.

Now, of course, some women are more reserved about it...some are more formal and are not comfortable feeling such good feelings with someone until they know them well. Some women are just closed off and don't like anyone to enter their space, and even in a relationship, they resist having another person touch them so easily...And some women simply do not like being touched. They find it unpleasant and they recoil from it. But the truth is, women in those last two categories (ABSOLUTELY those in the last one) have had some trauma in their lives, probably child sexual abuse, that has damaged them to the extent that they can't accept this natural and beautiful form of shared pleasure. That's a sad truth of the world.

For the other women, depending on their degree of shyness, touch is always a pleasure and a treat...assuming they like the guy that is touching them, and it's appropriate to the relationship. By appropriate, I mean, a female friend might love it if you rub her shoulders, but might be uncomfortable with something more "romantic," like caressing her hair and cheek.

I am going to talk about touching in a romantic context, whether it be on a first date or with your wife of 20 years. And I'm not talking about directly sexual touching.

Sensual touching is an art that you should definitely spend some time mastering -- because it will be incredibly rewarding to both you and the woman in your life.

1. Touch her more. However much you are already touching your girlfriend, wife, or lover...you can do it more often. I can't emphasize enough how much of an emotional connection and bond can be formed by this simple action. Women link many feelings of sexuality,love, and trust with the sensations that are aroused in them when a man puts his hands on her.

   It can make her feel both sexually excited and safe at the same time. It can also make her body release certain chemicals into her blood that make her feel more attraction to and more comfort with the man that she is with.

   How's that for the simplest tip ever?

   Try it out. I promise that it is as effective as it is simple.

2. Look into her eyes. Well, here's one that's even more simple...but again...it's so much more powerful than it sounds. When you are putting your hand on her, whether you are caressing or squeezing...or petting or holding or any other kind of touching...Look into her eyes as you are doing it.

   You will find that if you hold eye contact with a woman -- even if she looks down for a moment -- she will be drawn into your gaze and that you can hold her there. This will add an amazing amount of emotional intensity to your touch. She will feel it deeply in her body.

   You may think, heck, I already look at her when I touch her...But just try this -- try being aware of intentionally holding her eye contact as you touch her.

   I think you will find that it makes a very big difference.
3. Try touching her in new ways. There are particular types of touching that women find more romantic, more sensual, and more arousing than others. And, of course, since all women are different, you're going to have to do some experimenting to find out what the woman in your life responds to most. The key is to really tune in to her and notice how she is responding. That tuning in or "Paying Attention" that I always talk about, is actually the really important part of this tip...

   But here are a few ways you should try touching her -- most women respond very positively towards ALL of them.

   Pay attention to see which ones your girl goes for:

   • Use the very tips of your fingers and run them very, very lightly, so that it is almost a tickle, anywhere (or everywhere) on her skin.
   • Stroke her gently, but not tentatively with the entire face of your hand. Try running it up her back, her neck, her legs, arms, or the side of her face.
   • Just hold her firmly. This can be such a powerful feeling for a woman. Just place your hand on her shoulder, the back of her neck, her thigh, arm, or hand...and just hold her. Let her feel your masculine strength, but don't, obviously, hurt her. If you do this right, she should feel the tenderness and protectiveness behind your touch.
   • Cup her with your hand, and stroke gently with your thumb...This combines the first idea of gentle finger tips with the last one of holding her firmly...

     I particularly like to hold the back of her neck and then gently stroke her cheek with my thumb...while looking into her eyes. Also try holding the back of her head and stroking her temple, or hold her arm and stroke her shoulder, or her thigh and stroke her knee.

     Add eye contact to all of these and she will melt.

   • Pet her hair. I have never met a woman who does not enjoy having her hair stroked. For girls with straight hair, you can let your fingers run through it. If she has curly hair, just pet, so that you don't get stuck and start yanking on her knots!

     To really send her into orbit, start at her neck and use your fingers to pet upwards into her hair along her scalp. You can bring a woman very close to orgasm with this one.

4. Tip #4: Feel With Your Feelings. I saved the best one for last...but it is also the one that is most complicated to explain, and can be more challenging for some men to master. That's because, as guys, we're just not as "in touch with our feelings" as women are. But this is of HUGE importance if you really want to rock her world in ways that will make her forget any other guy she has ever been with.

   The basic truth is: A woman can FEEL, not just the physical sensation of your hand on her skin, but also she can FEEL the emotional content of your touch.

   I know this sounds a little bit "out there," but again, as always, I challenge you to TRY it before you dismiss it because this is really an incredibly powerful truth. When you touch a woman while thinking sexual thoughts about her, and when you focus that intent into your touch, she will FEEL it very strongly... and her body will respond to it. That sexual energy will flow from you and into her.

   Likewise, when you feel tender feelings of attraction and protectiveness for your woman, and you stroke her hair, it makes her feel loved and safe. And there is nothing that will provide you both with a more amazing night of mind-melting sex than when the woman in your arms feels loved and safe.

I know that I'm leaving a lot out here, and that, especially this last tip is kind of hard to wrap your brain around. The truth is, that this issue of touching with emotion is part of a MUCH bigger picture of understanding women and female sexuality, and just too big a topic for this article.

However, don't hesitate to get started by using the great tips above. You will be amazed that even these brain-dead simple tips
can make a huge difference in how women respond to you sexually.

If you are in a relationship, you will be even more amazed at the positive changes that just a tiny bit of information can cause. You can go to a marriage counselor, or talk to a therapist, or read books on "communicating" better, but there is NOTHING in my experience that improves a relationship more or strengthens the bond between a man and a woman than touch and sex.

courtesy: Alexander Allman

Understanding Her Sexual Body Language

When you're in bed with a woman, do you ever get the feeling that she's uncomfortable or that something is amiss? Are you able to read your girl's body language?
Well, you might be right -- there might be something she is telling you. Check out these body language movements and reactions that likely mean that something is up with your girl. If you are able to confront these issues, you may be able to eliminate the sexual party pooper that is dwelling in your girl.

She won't look at you

If she lets you get inside her but won't even look up at you, something is definitely up. And not in a good way. If every time you lean in to kiss her, she turns her face and doesn't open her eyes, there is definitely a problem.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she's shy and isn't very experienced in bed. If she won't let your mouth get anywhere near hers, you might have bad breath, she might have bad breath, your facial hair might be scraping her face or, if you went down on her, she might find it "distasteful" to kiss afterwards.

Fix it: The next time you're having sex, pull out and make your way to her face; in a soap opera-romance way, gently hold her head in your hands and kiss her like Casanova. If you feel like she wants to pull away, let her and ask her what the deal is. The only way to figure out why she's reacting that way is by asking.

Her expressions are stoic

If you're giving the session your all and she's staring into space or focusing all her attention on the ceiling, something has got to give.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she doesn't like sex much. As well, she might want to be engaging in some other sex act and is afraid to tell you about it. Maybe she feels like a caged animal and wants to be on top or maybe you're not giving her enough room to maneuver.

Fix it: Put her on top and tell her you want to watch her move. Or, when you're not having sex, ask her about her sexual fantasies; maybe that'll help you get to the bottom of her body language behavior.

She doesn't move

You're pulling out all the stops; you're going down, coming up, licking, kissing, biting, rubbing, and all that good stuff. And she just lies there -- like a corpse.

Possible reasons: She may not like sex. Or she may not like having it with you. Or worse, she might think that all she's actually required to do is be present. As hard as it may be to believe, there are women who think that lying there amounts to participation. Sad perspective, isn't it?

Fix it: You have to say something. Ask her if she feels desired by your actions; if she says she does, then tell her you would like to feel that way too. If you're too shy to communicate verbally about this ordeal, then tell her that you'd like to role-play and switch positions. Let her be you and you be her. Her body language will almost certainly change. Problem solved -- orgasms for everyone.

She acts like a guy

Okay, so this might be a gross generalization, but she might do things like orgasm and want to come to a screeching halt and not let you touch her after it's over or forego foreplay entirely.

Possible reasons: I don't see the problem... Just kidding. Everyone has differing desires when it comes to the realm of sex, so rather than judge her, find out what's behind the behavior. She may prefer straight-up sex with no frills or she may simply place more importance on her own orgasm than on yours.

Fix it: If you want foreplay, then seduce her. If you want to ensure that you orgasm as well, ask her if she's satisfied; if she says yes, then tell her you want to feel just as good as she does.

She hides her body

So, your girl is acting like a nun and won't get naked in front of you. As much as you want to enjoy her body visually, she leaves the room by slowly backing out. Or, she needs to have all the lights off when you have sex and the blankets need to be covering her. Let's break that habit.

Possible reasons: Well, there's no doubt that she's insecure about her body, and she thinks you might get turned off if you see all her flaws.

Fix it: Show her that even though you have flaws, you know that she loves you anyway -- but don't point your flaws. Perhaps the most important thing is to tell her that you think she's beautiful and that you appreciate her body. It could take time a repetition on your part to break down those walls that she has constructed, but it'll be worth it once you do.

She never reciprocates

You go down on her and take your time, making sure to please her in every way possible, but she never goes down on you. You seduce her constantly, doing your best to turn her on and make her enjoy the sex, and yet she never comes on to you or initiates sex.

Possible reasons: First, it's possible she thinks that it's your responsibility to turn her on, and not the other way around. Second, some women think that guys get turned on just by seeing a girl, so therefore she doesn't really have to come on to you. Oddly enough, some women even think that being "aggressive" is unladylike and could turn a guy off.

Fix it: Tell her that you love receiving oral sex and you fantasize about how great she would be at it. Tell her that it's important for you to feel desired and that she can show you by coming onto you every now and again. That ought to do it -- empathy is a great thing.

make it work

Sex as you must know by now (because I've written about it ad nauseam) is just as important as trust, love and all that other good stuff. If you and your girl aren't on the same sexual wavelength, chances are things aren't going to suddenly change.
Dare to discuss it. Ask her what she thinks about sex, how important it is to her, and how often she'd like to engage in it. If her responses are way off from what you'd expect, then you might want to reconsider opting to spend the majority of your time with her.

- Askmen.com